“You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Care: feel affection for, provide for, protect, look after, provide for the needs of…. Care and I are meandering around each other, dancing in endless circles struggling with who is leading and unsure if the song is ever going to end or graciously change it’s tune
C.A.R.E. Is also a Continuous Ambient Relaxation Environment. It’s a tv channel meant to soothe the sick with gentle music and pictures of nature. (http://www.healinghealth.com/care-channel-relaxation-programming/)
As I sit by the hospital bedside CARE lulls me to sleep sometimes and at others it captures the camera eye in my brain (which has been on a forced vacation) to find pictures of faces and silhuettes of characters. in the scenery. An old man with beard in the river, ladies with big noses gabbing in the bushes, jabba the hut in the sand dunes, buffalo head on the hillside. In my attempts to provide a caring face to the ill person I love, maybe I in turn am also searching for my own caring faces as I feel the exhaustion of illness, too?
Maybe it has more to do with the search for life as death is also dancing around me, looming in the corners of hospital rooms, concerned glances and unspoken words. Death threatening to tear down the structure of a family as it has existed for over 50 years, waiting to take a loved one, and slowly eroding understanding and hopes.
“We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt