Stepping on the Change Train . . .

“There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse! As I have often found in travelling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position, and be bruised in a new place.” ~Washington Irving
(click images to enlarge them)

We are all automatically placed on one change train when we are born and that is the aging train. All of the physical things about us that will change during our journey are eventually unavoidable. Would any of us knowingly step on this train? I don’t think so. Most of us spend our lives fighting that particular journey and closing our minds to what the end of the journey, aging, will do to us.

Change trains come into our lives all the time. Sometimes we choose to step on the change train and sometimes we stay far away from it. A welcoming change train can be exciting, thrilling, inspirational and life-giving. Some people love that change train so much that they seek it out and have collected millions of frequent travel miles. There are also times in our live when the change train is not really welcome and can be frightening. There are times in our lives when deep inside we know it is time for us to do something, change something, add something, delete something or rearrange something. And yet, we don’t want to look at it, we avoid it, we dig our heels in and fight against it, we fear it, we pretend it is not something we know we have to do eventually. We put it off for as long as possible, maybe even a life time.

How long we can avoid stepping on the change train varies, it is possible it could be years. Sometimes we awaken from denial and do what needs to be done to change things on our own. Sometimes things happen that force us to take action even though we would prefer not to. Once that time comes, however it comes, hopping on that change train is like being put on a conveyor belt with no way off. A train that although it makes several stops along the way, forcefully takes us to the destination we have been avoiding.

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ~Anatole France

Life has put me on a change train I had been avoiding several times in my life and I bet you have been on the same trains, too. Family problems, work, relationships, health, etc… I was forcefully put back on a change train again this week and it has taken my thoughts back to a very similar train I was on several years ago. Once you are on this train, the fight leaves you because there is no turning back and there is no where else to go .. it actually is a relief when the change takes over and you stop struggling. Change takes charge and you throw your hands up in the air like on a roller coaster and let things unravel as they should. Part of it is an act of faith, but most of it is a resignation to a truth that we have been carrying around inside of us for a long time. At the end of the journey we realize that the change train ride is really a life-giving, learning experience .. definitely not without pain or sadness, but we realize it is guided by a gentle hand with only our best interests in mind.

This time I am on a medical health train and it is taking me to doctors for examinations, labs for tests, pharmacy for relief, and eventually a surgeon for the fix I have been avoiding. The fear that kept me from change is still with me, but it is less because I have relinquished control to the train and I am letting it take me where I need to go. The train is not empty this time like it was last time. No, for me, it has picked up several friendly faces and they are taking the ride with me and helping me along the way. Many of them having been on the same train recently. My body might be very sick, but when I decided to step on the train, my mind took a deep breathing sigh and said thank you.

A few prayers for my ride to be smooth would be appreciated. Don’t worry. What I have is not life threatening or uncommon and I have friends and family to help me … it is just going to take four to six weeks for me to heal and be able to step off the train and get back to living. I am confident that this trip on the change train will bring me a new and healthier life with hopefully, a lot more energy to live it.

“They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” ~Confucius

All the sunny yellow flowers in this post are a symbol for what I hope to find at the end of my journey.
While I am gone, I have scheduled a few of my very first posts to publish again. I did not have many readers than and even fewer commenters … so, they will appear to be new and maybe start some interesting conversations to keep us entertained while I recover.

~ by bearyweather on August 14, 2011.

8 Responses to “Stepping on the Change Train . . .”

  1. wish you well
    offers snack mix for the ride….

  2. Hi Bearyweather, Your pictures like your spirit, are lovely! Wishing you great success with coming medical treatments and recovery. I have recently had surgery (last month for minor skin cancer) and have had a very major surgery seven years ago. Have a really fine day and thanks for the sweet pictures of flowers and bees!

    • Thanks, the well wishes from everyone helped. I have a long way to go to recover, things got a little bit more complicated then expected. However, each day is a little bit better.

  3. May your recovery be swift and easy, Bearyweather! I enjoy your posts and look forward to your first posts. And I look forward to your return!

    • Not easy or swift seems to be happening … but, I do feel better today then yesterday.
      I am slowly adding activities to my day … this week I will be catching up on everyone’s posts I missed last week. If I have to be home sick, I think Fall is the perfect time … it is gorgeous outside, no bugs, cool sleeping weather and, lots of activity watching nature prepare for winter.

  4. Take care of yourself – or perhaps let everyone else take care of you! Know that the thoughts and well wishes of us all are with you. Dark chocolate and butter popcorn should be given to you in abundance – and ice-cream cones during the warmer days.


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